Posts Tagged 'Glen Beck'

Insuring your body

Like any good hand model would take out an insurance policy on their prized tools of the trade (J.P. Prewit in “Zoolander”), so too should any person whose professional success hinges on the sustainability of a body part.

So it’s really no surprise that Troy Polamalu recently had has frizzy locks backed up by $1 million courtesy of Head and Shoulders.

Just as there seems to be a venue to place a bet on the most esoteric of events (how long Levi Johnston and Bristol Plain’s marriage will/would last), there is likely an insurer that will, for a price, draw up the preposterous  policies. Enter Lloyd’s of London.

So let met brainstorm a few things I think need to be insured against:

-Glen Beck from running for public office. God/Allah/Yahweh help us all … in the form of free xanex.

-Shaq from making any more movies. The policy would dictate that if he were to hold a roll beyond a cameo, the movie would go straight to DVD and must forego any TV advertisement.

-The Cubs winning a World Series. If they win, the mayor of Chicago (um, someone named Daley) will have the right to suspend the writ of habeas corpus.

-My grandmothers from joining Facebook. I love they dearly, but don’t think they need to post daily weather reports and mah jong updates on my wall.


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